Full Circle

I

Dearest,

I love you and that's the beginning and end of everything - F.Scott Fitzgerald

I am still pinching myself. Meeting you at the terminal was the best thing ever in my life. I should have written this letter 15 years ago. But then you have to agree, your lightening disappearance from the face of civilization did not help. There was no forwarding address. Not even with your parents. I had looked for you for six months and then had to get a grip over myself.

I moved cities for few years, trying to find you but after the first couple of years realized one cannot find someone who did not chose to be found. So, I respected your wish and put as many miles between us as possible. I started afresh in London.

Work, circumstances, life took over and finally Varun happened. You know Varun anchored me while you were gone. He made me see the beauty and wonder in the world all over again. His innocent wonder at everything around him kept me hopeful. To love and cherish again. I am so proud to be a Father now. His parents died in a car crash and Shekhar was a very good friend of mine. I could not bear the thought of his son to be growing up with someone else’s dream so I convinced Shekhars' octogenarian parents to raise Varun as my own. Somehow, they relented and here I am today a “Dad”. Isn’t that amazing? The best name ever in the whole wide world, me thinks! :D

I know you are nervous and possibly don’t want to rock your boat yet again but then it’s one life we have. Don’t you think we deserve a second chance in this life? What can be so scary anymore? Us?You and Me? No, I don’t think so. Please give me a lifetime to make up to you for my foolishness.

Won’t you, my dearest?

Yours,

Sahil

II

My Only Love,

Dad! What a lovely name that is. Yes, it becomes you. Seeing you at the terminal was an awakening for me.

I had buried my feelings and emotions away so deep that I had lost touch with them completely. Apologies for rushing to catch the flight that day. But as you would have guessed the flood gates had opened and I had no idea what was I supposed to do with the deluge.

You don’t have to make up for anything, my love. I was an immature fool to be so silly. I sought refuge in the mountains as you know. The organisation from Nepal had just written to me the day before, so in blinding rage I packed and left. It was possibly the worst decision of my life. But I was young and naïve. Remained an emotional wreck for the next two years. I don’t know if I ever will be able to forgive myself for that action. But all of you, Amma, Papa and you have shown me what love is all about. It is unconditional, may be sometimes foolish but mostly kind.

How can I ever say no to you? Yes, I will be with you my love, no matter how, what, where in this life and lives to come. Waiting…

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever. - Rabindranath Tagore

Yours,

Akshara