Alone and lonely in an urban maze

MJ passing away has been making headlines on every medium, the artiste's fanfare crosses the boundaries of, culture, age, colour and gender. But not all are so fortunate in this world. An article in today's newspaper is the case in point. Some of them do not even get registered in the public consciousness. They go probably as quietly as they came to this world. Aged Savita Ghosh being one such unfortunate soul, a resident of Delhi's Bengali heartland CR Park was found dead in her home on Friday. Her body was discovered only once the foul smell was too much to bear for the neighbours and they rung up the police. It looks like Ms. Ghosh had set herself on fire a couple of days back to end her recluse and lonely life. Her husband had passed away a year back and she hardly had any friends leave alone any relatives.

This is not the first report of such a death in Delhi, couple of years ago sisters were found dead in their Lajpat Nagar home. The reason of their deaths was however assigned to poverty. But they too were recluse and hardly knew their neighbours. It is indeed sad in a city so populous we cannot find people whom we can talk to. Probably it is part of the individualistic societal norms that we abide by today which makes it difficult for us to make friends in this fast pace city. The young and the old alike find it difficult to make friends here.

An old friend commented only yesterday that the harsh weather conditions and way of life that one has to endure in Delhi probably makes Delhites an indifferent lot. Well, I personally cannot blame the weather or the population too much for this. It is much deeper probably why the city fails so many, but on the other hand Delhi is extremely open and welcomes everyone from all over the world with open arms. It is difficult to find Delhi endearing in summers just quite like the gloomy UK weather I agree but only in Delhi you will find people distributing shikanji and sherbat to pedestrians to combat heat. In Delhi I have always found help by total strangers on the road whenever in need as well as the greatest neighbours you could wish for.

I still cannot forget the father - son duo who invited me over to their Kapashera shop on a sultry August afternoon as I was waiting for a bus and treated me to one of the best sherbats I have ever tasted. They new the frequency of the buses on that route was very poor and offered me shelter to wait and provided me with the much required cooler on a hot summer day. Another incidence that I can recall was about five years back on a hot summer day I was about 100 metres away from home but a group of people distributing sherbat insisted that I had a glass of their sherbat first and only then enter the house! It was an extremely sweet gesture when the lady said that anyways it will take me some more effort to make sherbat at home instead I could just go home and relax. A French friend commented only couple of days back that how Indians cannot read maps. Well, the reason as I told her jokingly was because we just had to ask the next man on the road for directions, you see are so many on the road unlike in Europe where you can harldy find a person on the street.

Even at 46 degrees we need to be kind and not let our brains turn numb or violent. I hope Delhites will continue to be kind every day to help out people in need. May be then Delhi will seem more inclusive and compassionate. I sincerely hope we learn to trust more and hold the extended handed whenever we need to. It in no way implies we are weak if we seek out company, we all can get by with a little bit of help from our and transient and stead fast friends.

Comments

Srobona RC said…
Hmmm....being a small town girl where every auntie and uncle took the words "you are like her guardians" to heart and made life hell for a mischief moger like me...I guess the city always seemed full of people rushing by with no regard for who they trample. Its the poorer ans simpler folks of the city who are kinder. The chances of a street sweeper acknowledging ur existance is more then your next door neighbour. However, suicide is a little bit extreme course to take for loneliness. Get a cat, or a dog if you cannot bear it. In India we have plenty of strays to spare.
illusions said…
One more person was found dead in Delhi yesterday in East Delhi. She too was lonely and advanced in age. At least here the neighbours used to regularly send her food as she would not cook. But still she would not allow anyone into her house. The maladies of big cities are shocking.

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